I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize