The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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