K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
