How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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