Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
