idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
