I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
