I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
