Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
