he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
