I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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