I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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