i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
