Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
