I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
