i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
