Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
