The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
