He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ugly people sure do ruin things
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
how drunk are you?
Several
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
