HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
