You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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