but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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