he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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