So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
