it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
