So drunk its hurt
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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