so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sarcasm needs its own font
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
