He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
3 2 1 whiskey
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
