i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
