Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
