It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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