Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize