Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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