I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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