He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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