Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
