so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
