Swine flu. Run for my life!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
