Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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