The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
