I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize