We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize