Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
