Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I can text with my tongue
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The air was thick with penises
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
