It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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