I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
