Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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