4 words: hood of his car
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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