So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
