it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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