is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
