I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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