If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
