ADVERTISEMENT

• (417): View more from Missouri

  No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.

  Fav 6 1612 703

  share tweet
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur

  Fav 31 5187 1113

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.

  Fav 23 7095 1851

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers

  Fav 17 9068 1496

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  I just googled if crying burns calories

  Fav 14 1346 3754

  share tweet
  

• (308): View more from Nebraska

  this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous

  Fav 16 1022 3202

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

  Fav 5 1238 2207

  share tweet
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.

  Fav 13 802 1036

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me

  Fav 2 1194 616

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.

  Fav 1 427 748

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Let's celebrate that I used a condom

  Fav 2 595 819

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?

  Fav 3 511 389

  share tweet
  

• (858): View more from California

  I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents

  Fav 7 673 426

  share tweet
  

• (555): View more from

  After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.

  Fav 1 158 70

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (574): View more from Indiana

  Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.

  Fav 0 36 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize