If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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