Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
