the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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