Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
