Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
