"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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