the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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