I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
