We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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