hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
