singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
