i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize