I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
